Your Loudest Piece of Vulnerability

Why did you run away from me,
or your inner demons actually?

Your fragile pieces, and broken glasses,
haunt me day and night.

Tonight I cry for you
in the shaking moonlight.
I hear your loudest shame sing,
and buried secrets dance.

My dancing body in pieces, wrenched,
haunts you day and night.

Tonight I pray for you
in the shrinking moonlight.
You visited graveyard of your past,
skeletons exposed.

To look at them in the face,
then my dear,
wade across your muddled memories to find me.

7447

Your name has been replaced
with a series of numbers ever since.
All the sweet things you’ve said to me
I have read it over, and over again.

The words are just attached to some numbers now,
I said it to myself.
The meanings I once attached to them
forces me to revise
the image of
what had happened between us –
mending the fences of my reality.

Your seven thousand
four hundred and forty-seven traces;
the swirling clouds on my face;
the intensity in my gaze;
and your twisted numbers,

shall one day be
softened and
distorted and
released gently
back in my subconsciousness.

The Taste of Sunset

My dearest.

I want you to kiss the sun goodbye
with your very heart
of fire and water;
with your closed eyes
of a deep dark ocean.
Gaze out into the vastness.
Feel the temperature of the wind
touching your body.
Watch the color of nature
dancing on the horizon.
And witness
the timeless present.

The not yet darkened world stretches to the eternity,
a place where anything can be believed in
and loved and remembered:
where everything is pure and raw and vivid.

And I want you to carry this fleeting glimpse
of eternity wherever you go.

Insufferable Soliloquy

I thought it’s finally time
to say goodbye
to my near-insufferable soliloquies
on my desires
and longings for you.

I was wrong.

The very last time
you hold me in your arms,
so tight that it
stirred up the feelings
I might have forgotten
and thought I’d finally outgrown.

The touch of your finger sent
waves of awareness to me.
They kept flooding back
in ways that titillated me to no end.

A Ceremony

I need a ceremony
to properly say goodbye to

those countless hours when
I endured myself in solitude,
noticing the imperceptible
yet utterly transformative shifts in the heart

The sadness rose up before me
was larger than any I have ever seen
but I was not frightened –
there is ineffable beauty when
the new has entered into me,
through the hole you’ve taken away

Circle

A wave of emotions hit me again

Wind blows from afar
the wave is mournfully washing against the shore
and overflowing from my eyes
who insist to stare at you
just as how you penetrated me,
passionately declared your terriotiry
and evacuated my battle field
only leaving wounded me
standing there
watching
wind blows from afar

It goes around in circles

Sting

you know
it’s the feeling that
when you are
leaving a city where
you once cried and
laughed your heart out

and you realize that
friendships you formed
people you let in
and bared your soul to
will fade away
to make spaces for new encounters

you pray for that numbness
as if it can ease your pain
of uprooting yourself from
the life
you planted on this ground
with your very heart

and every stores you passed by
steps you walked
faces you remember
are becoming this ineffable sting
called one last time

—- I miss you

Your Wounds Will Not Be Named Silence

The moment you walked
into my life, ignited
a part of my consciousness
I did not know existed.

I kept drowning,
sank beneath your wisdom
like a stone.

In your deepest and
furtherest inner land,
I see wounds that never heal;
fears that were never shown;
I see wild fire burning,
fire that ignited
your insatiable passion.

I hear stories in your deep voice,
stories that have never been told,
and will be named silence.

I kissed your chest and your scars,
I stared at you deeply,
only wanting to reach your depth,
touch the darknesses,
and tell you — they are
the most beautiful artworks
that I’ve ever seen.

Don’t hold it back,
let yourself be
vulnerably seen
and loved.

If you ever let me,
If you ever let me.

On The Beach At Night Alone

I watched
a movie today.
It’s called
on the beach
at night alone.

She gently touches
and kisses a flower,
soothing my wrenching
pain of loss and longing.
I broke down in tears.

She curled up on the sand,
staring out to sea —
you appear on the horizon,
standing in the mist
With a straight face.
No expression, no expression.

“Watching the bright stars
shining, thinking of
the universe and the future”.
It is these melancholy
and unspectacular moments
that penetrate me.

Just like how loneliness
makes me tremble, but
brings ineffable pleasure,
as I’m finding my solace
in nature.

Summer ends in changing hues

Color’s changing hue.

Morning river of blue reflections,
green ripples stirred by faint breeze,
black stones gently kissed by rising sun,
All reflected in runner’s eyes of summer palette.